Who I am Matters!

Who am I?

I come from a place that is green, hot, and rainy (Panama).  Where the humidity is so intense that it drags you down like quicksand. I am aiming towards success, and I plan to get there one day at a time. My mom is emotionally smart, but completely clueless when it comes to directions, the world, or anything too intellectual. My dad is completely the opposite. He knows everything and if he doesn't he will make it up and sound so convincing that you will believe him. I am somewhere in the middle... A little clueless, a little smart. The one attribute that completely skipped me in the family is the "salsa para bailar" or sense of rhythm to dance, which is kind of shameful because as a latin woman I am expected to know how to dance. And much like in dancing, my family has always had high expectations. They are always pushing me to do more and better. I am guided by a sense of responsibility to accomplish the goals they expect of me. I do wish I could take more control over my life, but I am still their daughter, and I doubt I can go against my father's wishes.

I admire those who go against the tide, those who push the limits, break them, and own them. I am inspired mostly by my father. At a very young age he was forced to take on the role of the head of the family and support his mother and siblings. Through hard work, he has found success and happiness. "He is my hero", as I would say when I was 5. Now I am 22 and still can't help to say... he is my hero.

Am I an animal?

I have always been intrigued by wild cats, the fierce look in their eyes. As much as I would like to be that way, I think I am more like a ... mouse...I would like to be fierce but I am constantly nervous. I live in anxiety and stress. I am also very temperamental... and when I get mad I could be a tiger... but usually I am the mouse.

Am I a tree?

As a kid, I loved to play outside in the mud. Let me tell you, I made the best mud cakes in the neighborhood. Most of my time was spent outside in the yard, under a huge mango tree. The shade would cover me from the heat as I looked for interesting rocks buried between its roots. I was not the only one who enjoyed the tree. In the mornings I would wake up to flocks of parakeets chattering in its branches next to my window. In the afternoon I would look out and see iguanas and squirrels enjoying some fresh mangos. At night, if I stayed up late enough, I would peek out my window and see a family of deer enjoy the feast after a long walk down the hill behind my house. That tree was my playground and under its shade, I enjoyed some of the most carefree moments of my life.